


Holding On To You

by Purpleologist



Series: Dream World [1]
Category: Supernatural, Wayward Sisters (TV)
Genre: Angelic Grace, Canonical Character Death, Case Fic, Destiel Parallels, Dreamwalking, F/F, Family Dynamics, Grief/Mourning, Hallucinations, Hunters & Hunting, Illustrated, Insanity, Obsession, Season/Series 13 Spoilers, The Bad Place, Wayward Sisters Mini Bang 2018
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-15
Updated: 2018-09-15
Packaged: 2019-07-07 13:59:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15909657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Purpleologist/pseuds/Purpleologist
Summary: “I came back to Sioux Falls to save Sam and Dean Winchester. And... I did. No... we did. We saved Sam and Dean. All of these amazing women. My family. They don’t know it yet. They think I’m staying because I’m broken. But I’m staying because I need them. My family. My army. The thing that killed Kaia is still out there. And I don’t care if I have to tear another hole in the universe. We’re going to find it. And I’m going to kill it.”Nine months after bringing Sam and Dean Winchester back from the Bad Place, Claire is still frantically trying to find Kaia’s killer, despite her family’s insistence that she was taking it too far.





	1. Part One

**Author's Note:**

> This was my first time doing a Bang and I had such a fun time working with zelirocks and harplesscastiel from Tumblr! I owe them both a lot and thanks to the mods on waywardsistersbigbang for organizing it!

            _January 18, 2018_

            _I came back to Sioux Falls to save Sam and Dean Winchester and I did. No, we did, we saved Sam and Dean. All of these amazing women, my family. They don’t know it yet, they think I’m staying because I’m broken but I’m staying because I need them, my family, my army. The thing that killed Kaia is still out there and I don’t care if I have to tear another whole in the universe, we’re going to find it. And I’m going to kill it._

 

            _January 25, 2018_

            _7 Days Since Kaia Died_

            _I’ve been searching for leads on Kaia’s killer for a week now. Jody says they got calls in at the sheriff’s station about a “creepy pillar of light” in a nearby park, and the day after Alex had folks come in at the hospital who got stabbed by some crazy bitch in a black cloak. That means that the killer’s here, in Sioux Falls. That means I can find it and make it pay._

 

            _February 1, 2018_

            _15 Days Since Kaia Died_

            _Donna called Jody and said she’d come and spend her weekends with us when she could, but apparently her niece, Wendy, was kidnapped by monsters and almost sold as a delivery dinner. Jody said that she won’t be coming back until she’s sure that Wendy’s okay, which I… understand. Wendy’s her real family. She’s more important than a halfway house for wayward girls with anger issues and a taste for revenge._

 

            _April 5, 2018_

            _78 Days Since Kaia Died_

            _I haven’t really found anything in months, but I’m not giving up yet. There’s been a handful of other sightings, and people are saying that it’s a woman. Which narrows down it down to literally any woman who showed up in January (which is a lot more than you’d think). But small odds aren’t a deterrent for me. I tracked my mother down for almost three years and never gave up, so four months is nothing._

 

            _May 10, 2018_

            _113 Days Since Kaia Died_

            _Nobody’s seen the woman in the black cloak in months. It’s almost as if she’s disappeared from town, but with the amount of monsters from the Bad Place still around, there’s gotta be a rift open somewhere. I won’t give up, not until Kaia’s killer is dead._

 

            _May 17, 2018_

            _120 Days Since Kaia Died_

            _I could feel Castiel’s loss today. For a moment I mistook it as my own. The… the bullet straight through the heart, the numbness when you feel as if you’ve lost everything, then the desperation that comes immediately afterwards._

            _It didn’t take me long to figure out who he lost._

            _I’m tempted to call. Either him or Sam. But then I would have to explain how I knew. And I’ve dealt with enough lately, so I don’t feel like telling them they haven’t figured out all the side effects from angel possession yet._

 

            _September 15, 2018_

            _239 Days Since Kaia Died_

            _I can tell that Jody and Alex are worried about me. They think I’m obsessing, that I’m not thinking about anything except Kaia and her killer. But they’re wrong._

            _I’m thinking about my father, and how I couldn’t stop him from walking out that door._

            _I’m thinking about my mother, who I was too weak to protect before she got gutted by an angel._

            _I’m thinking about them—about Jody and Alex and Patience and Donna—and how they’ll be safe from this psycho once I put her down._

            _See, I’m not_ just _thinking about Kaia. I’m thinking about everyone. I’m thinking about my_ family.

            _A family I can’t afford to lose._

            _Not again._

* * *

 

           “Claire, what did I tell you about researching at the table?” Jody chastised, setting down a cereal bowl amid the mess of papers spread out.

           “In a minute,” Claire insisted, poring over an obscure newspaper article for the millionth time. “I think I’ve got something.”

           Jody shot Alex a look across the kitchen. The younger woman only offered a shrug and a sympathetic look as she swung a bag over her shoulder and departed for work. When Jody turned back to Claire, she said, “Look, sweetie, it’s been nine months. Kaia’s killer hasn’t been spotted since April. I think you need to take a break for a bit.” Claire’s blue eyes shot up from the page, betrayal written deep within them.

           “I’m not giving up.”

           “And I’m not telling you to give up. I’m telling you to take a break. If you have something to take your mind off of it maybe you’ll get a new perspective.” Jody rested a hand on her back and offered a comforting smile. “That always helps me when I’m up against a wall.”

           Claire sighed, leaning back in her chair and crossing her arms at the piles of disconnected theories sprawled out over the table. “One case. One unrelated case, and then I’m back.” She swore, scooping up the papers in her arms and sighing. Jody nodded in silent agreement, knowing that while it wasn’t what she’d been hoping to accomplish, it was something.

           Claire, on the other hand, disappeared into her bedroom, her determination unwavering. At first glance, it would still appear to be a storage room. The only embellishments truly hers were the gleaming silver sword propped up in the corner of the room and the stuffed cat half-hidden under her bed’s comforter.

           But what really made this room hers was the pictures and articles decorating the wall. Blurry images of a young woman with dark wavy hair, articles about a tragic accident orphaning a girl who ended up being left with her aunt, receipts, notes, suspicions, even a mug shot.

           This… this was Kaia’s past. Half-focused and missing chunks. Tragic.

           As tragic as hers.

           Shuffling through the papers in her arms, she turned to another, much smaller, collection of articles and images. The images were dark and almost impossible to differentiate between the shadows and the hooded figure hanging back, and the articles were filled with conspiracy theories from folks who repeatedly claimed that a woman in black had been searching through their homes.

           This was Kaia’s future, stolen by a monster that haunted her nightmares for years, who tore at her with its claws until she bled, and the fear she felt while there hadn’t left her even when she woke up.

           Killing it wouldn’t bring Kaia back, just as killing that angel hadn’t saved her mother, and finding Castiel hadn’t saved her father, but revenge… damn, it would be just as sweet as when she ran that Grigori through with his own blade and avenged her mother.

           The Winchesters had told her repeatedly that revenge got them nowhere, but they hadn’t done what she did. She had told, promised, Kaia that she would protect her, and then let her down in the worst possible way. She’d sworn _—_ not only to Kaia, but to herself _—_ that she would make that monster regret ever hurting her friend.

           A sigh in the corner of her room made her close her eyes tightly, wishing the image away. “Jody sounded worried about you.” Kaia’s voice was close, less than a foot away. Silently counting to ten, Claire opened her eyes, and yet the crystal-clear image of the dead woman still greeted her.

           “She’s always worried about me.” Claire said, knowing it was crazy to be talking to… whatever this was. It was Kaia, that much was certain. And though it would’ve made sense, it wasn’t a ghost either. Kaia was… she was in the Bad Place. And Claire had no talismans of hers to drag her spirit over to this world. Claire wasn’t sure how not-Kaia was here, but she wasn’t going to refuse the gift.

           “Well that’s because you never leave the house.”

           This was just Claire, finally having snapped. “I don’t leave the house because I’m trying to find your killer. Not that you’d be able to help much with that.” Setting a cheap ink pen between her teeth, Claire began to pin up the articles she’d printed out on the drywall, connecting them with string and circling the important details.

           “You’re doin’ a bang up job.” Not-Kaia said, drifting to ghost her fingers over a blurry picture of a much younger version of herself. Claire’s eyes followed the movement, lingering on the image she’d printed out ages ago.

           The picture had been posted online when Kaia ran away for the first time, disappearing in the middle of the night and scaring the shit out of her aunt. When she was found, she was babbling about monsters and blue-tinted trees. The cops recommended that she be sent to a mental ward, but her aunt hadn’t had the money to pay for admission, so home Kaia stayed.

           But the picture told a very different story. In the picture, Kaia was smiling up at the camera, hair short and combed over her head. In the picture, she was not Kaia Nieves, a dream walker tormented by nightmares. In the picture, she was Kaia Nieves, a fifteen-year-old girl with a bright, normal future ahead of her.

           Claire loved that picture because it was the closest thing to the smile she’d seen when they were sharing their scars. Claire loved that picture because in it Kaia was _happy_.

           “Claire?” Patience asked, poking her head in the room and thankfully ignoring the fact that Claire had just been talking to herself.

           “Hmm?” She took the pen out of her mouth and turned to the latest addition to her mismatched family.

           “Jody found us a case.”


	2. Part Two

            _After I got turned into a werewolf, Dean and Sam taught me the basics of hunting over a series of texts. I think they would’ve called the case Jody found a “salt and burn”. A man died a little under a year ago and there’s been reports of people going missing whenever they try to move into his house. Could be a hunt, could be that the house isn’t what the realtor promises, but if it gets Alex and Jody off my case about this Kaia thing, hell yeah I’ll take it. It’s just a couple minutes out of Sioux Falls anyway. Not like it’ll be a day trip. Just there and back._

* * *

 

           It was not “just there and back”, but then again, it never is.

 

           Alex was hunched over her laptop, which was hardly a strange sight. She was practically glaring at the glowing screen, occasionally reaching to either scroll with her finger or take a sip from the glass of water sitting about a foot away (“I don’t want it to spill!” She’d claimed as Claire stubbornly set her own glass less than an inch away from her books). Patience was struggling to disassemble one of the guns Jody had brought along, with the occasional tidbit of advice from the sheriff in question when Jody could tear her eyes away from the county records she’d snagged about the house. 

           And then there was Claire.

           This case was _supposed_ to be the distraction, the one non-Kaia thing she could lose herself in to get a fresh start.

           But it hardly worked out that way.

           Claire, as per usual, found herself lost in old notes. Among the books she’d brought for researching the case, she’d also brought her old notebook. The notebook she’d been writing in before joining Jody in Sioux Falls. It was filled with haphazard notes on sketchy hunting methods she’d picked up on the road, the pages occasionally spotted with dried blood or torn from battles she’d barely won.

           It was filled with bad memories. Anger, pain, sadness, loneliness. All the things she’d buried away and hidden that had just… _vanished_ when Kaia entered her life.

           In barely a day, Kaia had reminded her what it was like to have someone in her life that she _needed_ to protect, that she _wanted_ to protect. Yeah, Jody and Alex and Donna were her family, but the three of them easily held their own in fights.

           Kaia… Kaia needed her.

           Claire could barely remember what it felt like to be needed.

           It felt… _good_. Like she was valuable in some way, like she mattered at least a little bit to this one person.

           “I do need you,” Kaia whispered, hand gentle on Claire’s shoulder. Claire closed her eyes and took a staggering breath, not wanting to let everyone see how far she’d fallen in the past few months. Once she’d been a great hunter, strong and willing to do whatever it took, but now… she was weak and crazy and utterly _useless_.

           “You’re not useless,” Kaia assured, so close Claire could almost touch her… if she was real. “You’re still strong. Missing me doesn’t make you weak.” Despite the fact that the words were a figment of her imagination, they were a comfort. Perhaps that’s why it helped so much. Because it was exactly what she needed to hear.

           “I got something.” Alex announced, tearing Claire away from her thoughts—and from Kaia.

           “What is it?” Jody asked.

           Patience placed the dismantled gun down on the table and the pair of them leaned forward as Alex spun her laptop around to face them. “Enes Cookson.” Patience read from the screen.

           “Gosh, he even sounds like a dick.” Claire said, crossing her arms and rolling her eyes as she walked over to the cramped motel room table.

           “He lost his wife a year before he died.”

           “So he died of a broken heart?” Jody asked.

           “Hardly,” Alex told them. “He cozied up with the realtor who was helping him sell the house.”

           “Shit, man, that’s _cold._ ” Claire said, gaping. She slid into the free chair next to Patience, craning her neck as she read ahead on the screen.

           It turned out to not reveal any helpful information, but Jody took a peek into the records she’d picked up from the sheriff’s station and found that every family the realtor (the very same that Mr. Cookson had ‘cozied up with’) brought through the house had been victim to at _least_ one murder. 

           Which meant that it was time to pay Enes a visit.

 

           She was in the Bad Place, and Kaia was lying beneath her. “You failed me,” Kaia whispered, her hand gripping Claire’s, eyes harsh and unforgiving as the blood pumped out of her open wound, spilling onto the blue-lit leaves of the forest. The spear in her chest quivered in her movement and it churned Claire’s stomach more than any body she’d encountered on the job. Kaia’s eyes shifted to demonic black and her voice went raspy. “You couldn’t stop me,” she said, in the voice of the demon from all those years ago, the one that ultimately thrust her into hunting. “And you couldn’t stop me.” This time the voice was Castiel’s, and Claire’s long-buried hatred for him burns. A quieter voice in the back of her mind screamed that she’d forgiven him, but the hatred pushed her on, and she wrapped her fingers around the shaft of the spear, then shoved it deeper.

           Kaia gasped, and she was herself again, staring at Claire with wide eyes, her mouth agape, betrayal written in every inch of her face.

           “You couldn’t save me…” She gasps, and Claire awakes with a start, the car grinding to a halt on the gravel of the graveyard where the Cookson’s were buried.

           It was hardly the first time the nightmare had made an appearance, and it certainly wouldn’t be the last.

           And it certainly wouldn’t be the last time that Claire fled to the shower afterwards, determined to scrub the nonexistent blood from her skin because _she could still see it, every drop of Kaia’s blood, on her, on her hands, on her_ heart.

           But she couldn’t do that yet.

           For now… she had to step outside, and help Alex dig.

 

           The fire roared in the grave beneath them and Patience frowned, wrinkling her nose in obvious disgust and turning away to gag. The smell of a burning body was hardly a pleasant one, but Claire had long since gotten accustomed to the foul odor. Sometimes she wished she hadn’t had to.

           Jody and Alex stood a little ways off, speaking to each other in hushed voices, obviously trying to force Claire to get to know Patience a bit better. Claire scowled at the thought. It wasn’t like the two of them had much in common. Patience grew up in the apple pie life, making top grades and actually finishing high school. Claire dropped out when she was sixteen and the only person who took her in was Randy, a greasy scammer. Patience had friends back home. Claire just had Jody, Alex, and Donna.

           Patience lived this life because she wanted to help people. Claire lived this life because she had nothing else.

           “This sucks,” Patience muttered, crossing her arms and tucking the long sweater sleeves under her arms. “You guys do this all the time?”

           “I don’t know about Jody and Alex, but yeah, this is pretty normal for me.” Claire said, letting the light of the fire burn into her eyes, burn away the image of Kaia’s body left on the dark forest floor, alone and rotting.

           “That’s… kinda sad,” Patience noted, and a voice in the back of Claire’s mind couldn’t help but agree (sometimes the voice was Castiel’s and sometimes it was Kaia’s, but usually the voice was right). “I mean, you’re twenty-one, you should be out partying and having fun and going to college.”

           “Who says I’m not out partying?” Claire asked with a weak smirk.

           “I’m pretty sure sitting alone in your room with an investigation board isn’t a party,” she pointed out and Claire laughed despite herself. “Do you even know how to party?”

           Claire searched for an answer in the depths of her mind, but the last party that she could truly remember was one of her birthday parties, years and years ago when her father was himself and her mother was sane and she was just a little girl who desperately wanted a puppy.

           “Okay, y’know what, if my friend Ronson ever comes and visits, I’m siccing her on you,” Patience said with a laugh. “She’s tried a thousand times to make me a party girl, but she’ll have a much better chance of succeeding with you.”

           The thought of something as simple as having someone drag her to a party warmed her to her core, and  Claire felt her walls cracking slightly. Despite all the years she’d spent building them up, she was glad to let them down. It took some of the weight off, being able to let loose for a bit and just joke around. It felt… freeing.

           “We got company!” Alex yelled, the sound of a shotgun firing disrupting the comfortable silence. The two girls whipped around, lightning fast, as the shaky image of a spirit lunged for Jody. Jody’s arm shot out, and she ran it through with what appeared to be the iron poker for the fireplace back home.

           “What do I do?” Patience asked, wild-eyed as Alex rummaged around in the bag they’d brought.

           “You kick it in the ass!” Claire said, catching a salt-filled shotgun Alex tossed her and immediately firing at the advancing ghost.

           “Oh-okay.” Patience mumbled. Claire passed the gun to her and dashed to the bag, where Alex knelt as she frantically shifted through it.

           “It’s not Mr. Cookson, his bones are long gone.” Alex muttered, reaching deep into the duffle.

           “What if it’s the missus?” She asked, eyeing the corporeal shape that was only a faint shimmer the dark of night.

           “It’s gotta be.”

           “But how the hell are we supposed to dig up her grave while she’s attacking us?”

           “There’s four of us, and one of her,” Alex reasoned, pulling out the salt and matches from the bag and hefting a shovel in the other hand. “I think we can handle it.”

           Claire grabbed a shovel of her own, shouting “Hold her off!” as she and Alex began to dig the second grave. The work went faster than it had the first time, and Claire was quick to blame it on the adrenaline of the hunt, the thrill of her life being on the line, and the weight of the gun in her hands. The thrill quickly died when Patience stumbled over to them, saying she _would_ die and then it felt like there was a clock counting down the seconds until her last breath.

           They’d made decent progress in a short amount of time, cracking the lid of the pristine, new  coffin with the bases of their shovels. Flesh was still clinging to the bones in a sickly fashion.

           Alex was fumbling with the matchbox when the ghost appeared in front of the both of them, throwing them backwards with a wave of its hand. 

           Claire hit the car with a heavy _thud_ , the vehicle rocking with the force, as Alex disappeared into the dark of the other direction.

           “Alex, Claire!” Jody yelled, her shotgun firing in quick succession as the spirit whipped back around to turn on them, driving the Jody and Patience further and further from the upturned grave.

           Claire could hear muffled shouts as she forced herself to stand on shaking legs, everything a blur in the pitch black of the night. Somewhere beyond her, Claire could hear Patience scream, and Jody yelling a battlecry in the direction Alex had been thrown.

           Claire spun around, searching for a weapon, and her eyes landed a familiar gun. “WATCH OUT!” She yelled, and they scattered. She heft it with both arms, pulling the trigger as soon as she was certain that her family was out of the way.

           Flames flew in forward and the ghost shrieked, skipping away as Claire raced forward, pitching the barrel of the flamethrower down into the opened grave. She turned behind her to watch as the spirit of Enes Cookson’s wife lunged, disappearing in a pillar of fire with an ear-splitting cry.

           For a moment, the faint ringing in Claire’s ears was the only noise she heard, and then with a gentle _whoosh_ the outside world returned, in the form of Patience’s heavy breathing nearby and Alex’s coughing. Jody stood a few feet away, on the other side of the grave, helping Alex to her feet. She let out a shaky laugh as Claire turned off the flamethrower in her arms.

           “How’s that for you first real hunt, Patience?” She said with a sideways grin.

 

           Patience still seemed a little shaken, especially with how she was now actively taking part in hunts, firing salt rounds and lighting the matches, but with every encouragement by Jody and the occasional tidbit on how to handle a gun by Claire, she was catching on quick.

           The ride back to Sioux Falls was much more different than it used to be, with Alex riding shotgun because she was the “oldest” in terms of living with Jody and had rightfully earned the front seat (Claire called bullshit, but Patience just shrugged and accepted the loss). It was weird for all of them, but, one thing that Claire neglected to mention was a fifth presence in the car, jammed between her and Patience in the backseat. A dark, haunted look decorated not-Kaia’s features, and Claire couldn’t help but note that that… whatever it was seemed to understand _exactly_ how she felt.

            _Tired_.

           Claire Novak was tired. Tired of spreading herself thin, tired of trying to fight the rage that bubbled up when she hit a dead end, tired of lying to Jody and saying that everything was fine, tired of pretending that she could actually do anything… that should could actually stop a dimension-hopping killer.

           “Don’t give up.” Not-Kaia advised, meeting her eyes with a worn-out look.

           “I haven’t helped you at all.” She muttered under her breath, thankful for the radio music and Alex’s gentle snoring to cover up the fact that she was talking to herself.

           “You may not have found my killer, but you have helped others.” Kaia glanced over through the back window of the car, eyes watching the road stretch behind them, back to the no-name town where the only person they saved was an adulterous woman from death by vengeful spirit. Kaia’s deep brown eyes flicked back to hers, the electricity deep within them feeling more lifelike than ever before. “You helped me.”

           “How?” Claire found it nearly impossible to hide the frustration in her voice. “I’ve been working non-stop for nine months. Anyone else… anyone else would’ve been smart and given up by now.”

           “But you’re not anyone else,” a soft hand pressed against her leather-clad shoulder, and Claire sucked in a breath when she felt the weight, felt the _warmth_. It couldn’t be real. Kaia… Kaia was dead, hallucinations couldn’t touch you, couldn’t feel this real. “You’re a hunter. A hero. An angel.” Claire flinched and grimaced slightly at the use of the word that had haunted her past.

           “I’m not a hero. I couldn’t save _you_.” She shut her eyes tight, knowing that if she were to open them, her resolve would shatter. All those careful walls, the guards, the lies, all the times she said “I’m fine”, all the times she hid or swore she’d stop… One more look into the endless brown eyes and it’d all be _gone_.

           Kaia let out a breathy chuckle and slid her hand against Claire’s, pinkies brushing on the fabric of the car bench, skin too warm to be an illusion, but too chilled to be really there. “You just haven’t saved me yet.”

           Out of the corner of her eye, Patience watched Claire sleeping, breathing the steadiest she’d seen since whenever she’d walked in on one of the older girl’s fits. Well, “fit” wasn’t quite the right word for it. “Episode” was more appropriate.

           She’d voiced her concern to Jody on several occasions about Claire’s habit of falling asleep at the most random of times, sometimes even standing upright and moving around. It unnerved her, but Jody explained that with everything Claire had gone through, it was best to let things be sorted out in their own time. If Claire’s “sleep-living” became a danger, then that would be a different story, but for now, she was simply… tired.

            _Walking past Claire’s room, Patience didn’t miss the way the blonde girl stood in the middle of it, eyes shut but facing the wall that the young psychic knew held an array of clippings and photos from her endless hunt. She hesitated in the doorway, guilt pooling as she made an attempt to listen to the words mumbled under the sleeping girl’s breath, catching glimpses of words that made no sense without a shred of context to compare to. Just as she was about to continue on her way and let the determined hunter know the news at a later time, Claire stepped forward, hand reached and gently brushing a photo that Patience dared not try to get a better look at from this angle._

            _“Claire?” She asked worriedly, ignoring Jody’s warning. Patience smothered her surprise when Claire’s blue eyes flew open, looking at her expectantly as if nothing had changed in the moments between then and now._

           Patience had done everything she’d could to figure out what was going on with Claire, having grown accustomed to her new living situations and not wanting them to change because… because something happened that none of them could stop. Back at home she’d cross-referenced articles on sleep-walking and grief, even going so far as to adding obsession and hallucinations to the list, but she found nothing. Perhaps it had been the fact that she’d been using Google and not some secret underground Hunter network that kept her from finding anything useful, but that hardly meant she’d give up. Patience had given up and run from far too many things in her life to give up on a girl who desperately needed someone to pull her out of this darkness. And... Claire was her family now, was she not? Family was important.


	3. Epilogue

            _It took forever, but I finally found a book on dreamwalkers that seems to be accurate. From what I’ve read so far, when a dreamwalker dies, part of their soul goes to Heaven (or Hell, I don’t judge) and part of their soul stays in the Dream World, which is like the Veil but specifically for dreams and dreamwalkers. According to the book, the Dream World is like a giant hallway, with doors into different worlds and, if the dreamwalker is strong enough, people’s minds._

            _The book also says that it’s possible for a normal human to travel throughout the Dream World, usually aided by African dream root (I think Sam and Dean mentioned it once, I’ll have to ask though…) and, on occasion, angelic Grace._

            _I know it’s risky and I know it’s probably stupid and rash (I’ve heard it enough from Jody already), but… if there is any way I could bring Kaia back, even if it’s just for a moment, to apologize for failing her, I’ll do it._

            _So what if I upset the natural balance of the universe or some shit like that? Lord knows that Sam and Dean have done worse, and they’re still alive and kicking (well, sort of)._

            _This is my one chance to apologize for my mistakes. I’ve never been able to tell my dad that I was sorry for being a shitty kid and I’ll never get the chance to apologize for bitching at my mom either, but Kaia… I can correct my mistake with her._

* * *

 

           “Sleep, Claire.” Kaia advised, smiling at the girl sitting on the edge of the bed. Claire’s eyes were ringed with shadows from the past nights of staying awake, the stench of stale coffee lingering on every surface from the copious amounts that Claire had resorted to using to stay awake. Her case wall was thoroughly dismantled and Kaia ignored the drying tear tracks staining her cheeks, merely kneeling in front of Claire and running a thumb over the arc of her cheekbone in a show of affection. “You’ve done enough for today.”

           “I miss you,” Claire mumbled, drunk on her tears and lack of sleep. “I miss you so damn much.”

           “I’m right here,” a hand ghosted through her blonde curls reassuringly. “I won’t leave you, I promise.”

           “I promised to protect you.”

           “Shh,” Kaia gently put her hands on Claire’s arms to guide the other girl so that she was lying down over the covers, Claire’s hand gripped tightly around Kaia’s forearm that Kaia assumed was to ensure that she was real, that she was _here_. “Just go to sleep. You have good dreams waiting for you.”

           “You’re in them.” She mumbled, eyes fluttering closed.

           “What?” Kaia didn’t quite understand what Claire was trying to say, figuring that the lack of sleep had caught up to her and made her even more indecipherable than usual.

           “You’re in my good dreams.” Those were the last words Claire said as she dropped off into sleep, the grip of her arm going lax. Kaia couldn’t help the smile that the confession got out of her, pushing a stray strand of hair away from Claire’s face and placing a kiss on her forehead.

           “And you’re in mine, too.”

           “It’s not wise for you to be here” An all too familiar voice said, and Kaia spun around to see the huntress standing near the foot of the bed, arms crossed over her chest as she looked down at Kaia, unimpressed.

           “It’s not wise for you to be here either,” She shot back, almost mocking, as she stood up from her spot at Claire’s side and glared at her other-world self. “You should be back in your own world, not bothering her by occupying her dreams.”

           “ _I’m_ bothering her?” The huntress scoffed, rolling her eyes. “You’re the one haunting the poor girl, driving her to insanity with every promise you make.”

           “I wouldn’t have to visit her if you’d just leave her alone,” Kaia’s fist clenched by her side and she swallowed to urge to run. “You tease her and torture her. You make her think I _hated_ her..”

           “And why should I not? She’s hunting _me_ after all.” She cast a smug look at the other Kaia. “You know better than anyone that I cannot be found unless I want to be found.”

           “Just please,” Kaia tried to ignore the way her voice shook. “Leave Claire alone. She’s not like yours.”

           “Not like mine?” The huntress scowled. “You naive little girl, she’s _exactly_ like mine. Making promises she knows she can’t keep, fighting battles she knows she can’t win. Had you lived, it would’ve only been a matter of time before she turned on you and called you a beast.”

           “She would’ve never called me that.”

           “I said the same thing about mine, once upon a time,” the huntress’ gaze turned soft as she called how Claire had been. “But then she stabbed me in the back and left me for dead.” The words were spit out hot and venomous, making Kaia flinch.

           “Claire would never-“ She began to argue, knowing it was a losing battle, as everything was when she bickered with the harsher version of herself.

           “You are lucky I killed you.” The huntress took a deep breath, looking lost, before her features quickly reverted to their steely normality, her image flickering in and out as her connection to the Dream World started to fail. “Because if I had not, you would have become something even worse than I.” Kaia closed her eyes and tried to drown out the words she’d been told night after night, thrown in her face every time she came to Claire’s defense. “You would’ve really a truly become a monster, just as your mother feared.”


End file.
